A baby is such a miracle…but yet quite a mystery. At least that’s how I felt when my son Connor was born eight years ago. I was elated and excited as all new moms, but I quickly became overwhelmed by all the newness and the unknown…and tired. I became really, really tired.
My biggest concern was nursing. While Connor was growing well, I was constantly stressed out about whether or not he was getting enough to eat because he was having trouble latching on. Since I had no way to measure his intake, and being the control freak I am, I felt every cry he made meant he was basically starving. And so he nursed or got a pumped bottle…a lot! Sleep in his own space, however, was scarce.
Sleep deprived and still desperate for answers, I — like any new mom would do — turned to my own mother for advice. She said, “Keep him up during the day, and he’ll sleep better at night.” We tried this for a while, until both Connor and I were overtired and over stimulated. And the cycle continued.
Because I didn’t have any new mommy friends to turn to for advice, the pediatrician’s staff got to know my family and me quite well. Still worried about every unexplained cry, whimper or sniff, I would lean on their expertise for advice and answers — perhaps a little too much as far as they were concerned. But at that point survival was the name of the game.
And as if adding this new life to the mix wasn’t rocking my world enough, my husband became sick and I had to take care of two helpless boys at once. From the outside looking in I had a lot going on during that “fourth trimester,” but because I was on autopilot I could hardly tell.
Then the “helpful outsiders” began to chime in. They would offer words of wisdom such as:
- Sleep when baby sleeps
- Take care of you
- Take some time for mom
- Feed the baby when they’re hungry
- Put your baby on a schedule
- Do what comes natural
- Follow your motherly instincts
- Let your baby cry
- Don’t hold your baby because you’ll spoil them
- Don’t let your baby cry
But exactly how does a, for all intents and purposes, single mom actually sift through and apply those “nuggets” to real life circumstances with a baby, a sick husband and no sleep?
As new moms we have to figure out a way we navigate this thing called parenthood that works best for us. After all, there is no textbook attached to the baby’s cord when he’s born, so it all comes down to trial and error. But guess what? Parenting doesn’t have to be so difficult. It doesn’t have to be so overwhelming that you miss out on delighting in your child and being present with your baby.
Enter two local moms who realized there was a need for support during the first six months, the “fourth trimester.” Founders Dr. Laura Greene and Jill Lokitz, a licensed Psychologist and a Professional Life Coach, teamed up to bring Mom-Me Connections to moms in the Raleigh area. They are putting the ME back into mommy! {add the tweet this} They will be facilitating small groups, intentionally meeting each mom’s needs while bringing in motherhood experts to support them along the way.
I’ll say it again and often: I didn’t know what I didn’t know, and boy would it have been nice to have a some support and guidance during that fourth trimester eight years ago. Mom-Me Connections not only creates a space for new friendships, it offers valuable learning and resources to help you navigate these first months.
Meet Jill and learn about Mom-Me Connections.
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Get the ME back into mommy! Learn about @MomMeConnections @LovingLessons #NewMom #MomsMatter
And for those of you reading and learning about Mom-Me Connections here, you can use the special code: IRENE to get 15% off your group sessions.
Happy Connecting!
About our guests:
Fellow moms Dr. Laura Greene-a Licensed Psychologist and Jill Lokitz-a Professional Life Coach came together to create Mom-Me Connections. They offer facilitated discussion groups for new & expectant mothers while also connecting them to local resources which will help ease their transition into motherhood. They wanted to provide mothers with an opportunity to connect with other women going through similar life experiences as well as provide them with the essential resources that ever new & expectant mom needs.
