I resolve to not have a new year’s resolution.
I usually get lost and forget what I had resolved. Instead, I’m picking one word, one word that encompasses my life . One word to bring front and center for whatever life throws at me. This year’s word: BOLD!
Last year my word was brave. You may have not known that because I don’t think I was bold enough to share my brave. But I found I had to be brave in so many ways and areas of my life like in my marriage, parenting, decisions, finances, everyday choices, and spiritually. My biggest brave moment was my mission trip to Belize, which is what I truly feel, impacted me on so many levels.
There were some things that I had to examine from within, I mean way down deep. It was hard. Very, very hard and sometimes very dark. The one thing that I’m most proud of in 2014 is that I did what I’ve needed to do in years and that was to be brave for myself and begin the healing process. Which is probably why I’m not completely bold enough to share it all with you yet. But I know that as I intentionally work through some much needed healing, I’ll be ready to be bold enough to share it as I unpack some of this baggage.
Self care? What’s that with a child? Who has time? Why?
There are some hard moments in life that sometimes seem so dark and we often wonder, will it ever get better? Will things change? As I began to do the work, this darkness became overwhelmed with light, which was a great thing.
I’ve always heard that moms should take care of themselves. Moms matter and if we don’t take care of ourselves, how could we possibly take care of others? I crossed paths with some amazing people like Veronica McMullen, Katherine O’Brien, Gaye Esser, and Jill Lokitz that were telling me the same thing. I know that through divine intervention this is what I was really needing to hear.
And even though I’ve heard this before: “put your oxygen mask on before you help small children or others”, I don’t think I really got it. You know what I mean??? Sometimes I have to hear the same thing at least 12-100 times before I go duh??? That’s what that meant.
And I will be the first to admit that I often said, I don’t have time to take care of me. But an amazing thing happened when I did. I had more time, more energy, and was getting more done, and sleeping better but most importantly I had more love to share with others and I felt like I could do and be more for my husband and children. It really seemed so backwards, but it really made a difference.
Here’s the baby step I took because moms matter. I matter!
Right around naptime I would take time to listen to my one song. My jam is Oceans. ( ok, it’s not really a jam but its perfect for me because it really helped me get centered, grounded, relaxed and just breathe. ) Feel free to pick your one jam. What song speaks to you? What song just encompasses peace for you?
This particular version of Oceans is nine minutes long which works out great when I only do one song. I would lay down with a comfy blanket and JUST BE. Just be for one song. I’d close my eyes, lay there comfortably with my phone turned off, no kids, no distractions and JUST BE. And some days when it was crazy and we would be on the go, I’d sneak off to my car and listen to my one song to JUST BE.
It was one of the best things I did for myself. I know it sounds SO simple, but I was amazed at the difference I was experiencing for myself when I was taking care of me. This moment to just be, meditate, pray, clear my mind- each day was a little different, it was energizing.
I’m happy to say that by the end of 2014 I increased from one jam to about 3-5. It was all about baby steps. Again it depends on the day. But almost each day I give myself just one, no questions asked, it’s a non-negotiable.
The cool thing about this was that since my boys don’t nap, since their in elementary school, we still had a quiet time and I had them pick their one jam (with a little guidance from me because “I’m all about the bass” was not going to help my youngest get calm and centered) and we all did this together listening with our ear phones.
I’ll be bold and share some of the other aha moments I made in upcoming posts. I’m excited to share these aha moments that helped me find that inner peace to delight, enjoy, and be grateful for everyday. Another step to leaving a legacy of love for our little ones.
What are you doing to take care of you this year? What’s your resolution or one word?